Through the Eyes of a Child...

The Bible… only through the eyes of a child:

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but
God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is
one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.

Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they
weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were
driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in
though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah,
who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one
of his kids was kind of a Ham Noah built a large boat and put his
family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him,
but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous
than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in
exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a
really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton
Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the
evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These
plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave
them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke,
dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.

Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to
use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell
over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a
slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500
porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very
wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of
these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up
on the shore.

There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have
to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of
The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been
born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the
door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter
of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the
Pharisees and the Democrats.

Jesus also had twelve opossums.

The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named
a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to
some Germans on the Mount

But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius
the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands
instead..

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He
went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum.. His
return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

The Penny

You always hear the usual stories of pennies on the sidewalk being good luck, gifts from angels, etc. This is the first time I've ever heard this twist on the story. Gives you something to think about.

Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the home of her husband's employer. My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house.

The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. Her husband's employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant one evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment. Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was noth ing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts. Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny.

He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure.
How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She casually mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.

A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?

"Look at it," he said. "Read what it says."
She read the words, " United States of America ."

"No, not that. Read further."

"One cent?"

"No, keep reading."

"In God we Trust?"

"Yes!"

"And?. . ."

"And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin, I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him. Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray. I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!"

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, "In God We Trust," and had to laugh. "Yes, God, I get the message!"

It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And, God is patient.

Thought for the Day:

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

He sends you flowers every spring.

He sends you a sunrise every morning.

Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.